Pets are such a special source of friendship, joy, unconditional love and companionship.

Struggling to find the right words when sending a sympathy card?

Most people don’t give much thought to death certificates until they have a death in the family. A death certificate is the permanent legal record needed to prove that a person has actually died.

Bring their memory to the table Serve up a tasty reminder by preparing some of your loved one’s favorite recipes. Give a Thanksgiving toast or prayer that acknowledges the role that they played in your family’s lives. Consider creating a centerpiece made up of mementos from their life for the table. Or go around the table and ask each person to share something they are grateful for about the person who has died. Do something together to honor their memory There are many Thanksgiving Day events that your family can participate in to honor your loved one’s memory. Sign up for a turkey trot or charity walk. Watch one of their favorite movies together. Attend a remembrance service. Donate food or money in their name. Help to serve a Thanksgiving meal to families in need. Continue to share your memories Every family has their favorite stories and memories that they tell that highlight the unique personalities of each member. Be sure to continue sharing your memories and reminisce about those that you have lost. Whether it’s at the dinner table or during the football game, simply talking about your loved one is often what we need most after a loss. Accept that this Thanksgiving will be different. Try to find the balance between moments of grief and moments of joy. Listen to your intuition and only do what you can manage. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing. Grief is hard and tiring. Get plenty of sleep and give yourself permission to let in some joy this Thanksgiving.

Who can be a beneficiary? In most cases, people name their spouse, children or someone who financially depends on them as beneficiaries. A beneficiary can also be a sibling, other family member, friend, charity or trust. There are two types of beneficiaries: primary and contingent. If the primary beneficiary is deceased, then the asset goes to the contingent beneficiary. Why is it important to designate beneficiaries? Beneficiary designations take effect immediately after death. Because of this, they override any instructions that may be in a will regarding the distribution of assets. Having beneficiaries named on an account circumvents the probate process and helps ensure that assets can be transferred to heirs without delay. Even if you write a legal will leaving the assets to another person, whoever is listed as the beneficiary on your accounts is the person who will inherit. Matching beneficiary designations with provisions in your will can ensure that your wishes are followed properly. Retirement account beneficiaries Even changing your job can necessitate updating your beneficiary. If you roll over your retirement account, make sure that the account lists the correct beneficiaries. Previous beneficiary designations generally will not automatically move with your assets. Provisions for beneficiaries vary from plan to plan and state law — some of which automatically eliminate former spouses as beneficiaries. However, for many employer-sponsored retirement plans, such as 401(k) plans, these laws do not apply. A cautionary tale Suppose you married in your twenties, had two children and set up a life insurance policy, naming your then-spouse as beneficiary. Fifteen years later, you have divorced and remarried, and now, you have a child with your new partner. If you never updated your beneficiaries on your life insurance policy, your ex-spouse would inherit, leaving no proceeds for your current spouse or any of your three children. Take the time now to check that beneficiary information on your accounts is accurate and up to date. Updating your beneficiaries is simple, usually requiring filling out paperwork or making changes online. DISCLAIMER: Individual circumstances and state laws vary. Only undertake estate planning with the help and assistance of an attorney licensed in your state. If you need advice about designating your beneficiaries, talk to an attorney or estate planner to help ensure your final wishes are carried out.

You can preplan from the comfort of your home

One of the more common physical symptoms of grief is “brain fog.” Brain fog happens because your body interprets grief as trauma and begins to shut down to protect itself.

Preplanning is not complicated. It usually takes about an hour of your time. There are several components to making funeral arrangements.

Aaron Abbott’s first experience with funeral homes was when his father worked part time at a funeral home in their community. Aaron and his brother would help with services and doing removals. Before long he realized that being a funeral director was something he wanted to pursue as a career. After high school, Aaron got his bachelor’s degree from Penn State University and went on to graduate from the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science. He joined the Buch Family of Funeral Homes in 2002. Over the last several decades, Aaron has benefitted from having Ted Beck as a mentor and now Aaron is passing that learning legacy along to his daughter who works alongside of him. Allissa earned her funeral directors license in 2019. Growing up, Allissa was always aware of the sacrifices her father made to be a funeral director. “As kids, we always knew that when the phone rang, it meant that dad was going to work,” she said. “No matter what time of day or night. At one point, when my brother was little, he took to hiding the car keys whenever the phone rang because he didn’t want dad to leave.” “We always took two cars wherever we went,” explained Aaron. “That way I could always leave if I got a call. Thankfully, we have several funeral directors to share the workload, so I was still able to coach and attend the kid’s events when they were growing up.” Her friends at school wanted to know why her father always wore a business suit, not matter where he was. Allissa explained that he was an undertaker. Her answer confused the schoolkids even more because the only “undertaker” they knew about was a WWE professional wrestler. Every year in November, the Buch Family of Funeral Homes offers a Holiday Grief Support program. When she was around fourteen, Allissa started helping out with the event, greeting people and interacting with the public. “I realized that being a funeral director was not all sad and weird stuff,” recalled Allissa. “I like interacting with people and I also get to use the science side of my brain. Every day is different. We’re always thinking ahead and planning for contingencies in case something doesn’t go as planned.” “Allissa has always been very mature for her age,” said Aaron. “Her growing up around a funeral home really helped her get up to speed when she was studying to become a funeral director. I think the hardest part after she became a licensed director was when she first started meeting with families. She had the same problem I did when I started. We look very young. So, folks would wonder when the funeral director was going to show up.” “I followed the same guidance that Ted gave me when I was starting out,” continued Aaron. “I let her know I had the confidence in her to let her handle it on her own, without looking over her shoulder. She’s smart and will do a good job to establish trust with the families we serve.” Now, after twenty years, Aaron has become a shareholder and serves as Chief Executive Officer for the funeral homes. Just as Allissa is learning new skills, Aaron is gaining a better understanding of the business side of things. “We’ve got a good system in place,” said Aaron. “I have a good teacher in Ted and my goal is to pass what I’ve learned along to Allissa, so that the next generation at the Buch Family of Funeral Homes can continue to serve our community.”